lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
