party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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