I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
