im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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