dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize