I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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