Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
