id be glad to
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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