I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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