just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.