omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children