OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.