and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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