I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
