Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
