I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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