This girl is more easily done than said...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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