i permit you to call me
Apparently you make a good broom.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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