he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize