I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
