Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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