i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
