I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Found your dick twin last night
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
