just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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