His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
