I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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