I could have mohawked her pubes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
