thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
