I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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