awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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