Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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