She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
