haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We had sex on a dog bed..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
