I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
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Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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