Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
