Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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