Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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