the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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