Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
