lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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