i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
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I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
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CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
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