I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The Olympian is in my bed
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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