Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
