just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Randomize
