Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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