Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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