it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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