and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
