oh god the rape fog is back!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
