Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize