just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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