there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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