Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
