do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
