I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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