try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
