i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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