I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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