So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
