I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
