youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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