Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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