yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
