Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
